The Sickness

NB: I love you Helen and Lucia, I hope you both get fully better soon! I thought this would make you both smile.
I Hope others enjoy it and giggle too!

If anyone spots any mistakes let me know in the comments below so I can fix them.

The Sickness

It all started with a cough
And from the nose a sniffle or two.
As Queen Helen from Fort Goat
Shivered rather blue,
To all around her it was obvious
But it was from Prince Epic Possibly a Moose
That at last she was told so bluntly..
A very icky truth.

“You, my dear Queen Helen…
I believe are very sick it seems.
I wonder what you have…
I hope it doesn’t pass to me”

She thought upon this deeply,
But finally she agreed,
She didn’t know how,
And she didn’t know why
What she did know,
Was she was sick alright…

She stumbled with a sore head,
That was now burning hot…
Towards her royal bed she went,
She flopped down on the covers
And snuggled down to rest.

As days slowly passed,
Her sickness seemed to grow.
All of Fort Goat began to worry,
Something had to be done…
And soon!

So a meeting was called,
And all of Fort Goat were present
They chatted out ideas
Of how to fix the sickness,
Some said to send her up to the moon
Other goats said to give her hay and straw
But it was Princess Matilda Goat
Who had the best idea of all!

“We should send out a messenger…
Someone to our neighbors!
We should get the best doctors
From the best places ever”

Sheila Puppy Dog raised her paw
She liked wandering around,
This was a Job that she was made for!
She volunteered with a bark!
All of them nodded and agreed
There would be an epic journey
To stop queen Helen feeling icky!

And so it began,
On a morning cold
Sheila Puppy left Fort Goat,
On the most amazing journey of them all!
To search for the cure
Or a doctor or three
Who could stop Queen Helens sickness
And make her as she use to be!

Sheila Puppys first stop was MattyLand of course
Where she consulted with Matty on how to solve this problem,
Matty with a nod, listened to the plea
Then ordered Doctor Polar Long Scarf Bear to travel with Sheila

Sheila Puppy and Doctor Polar Long Scarf Bear,
Then headed on with their quest,
The next  stop, naturally the Kingdom of Bedroom… of course.
Sheila Puppy being a dog had to take caution.
For it was ruled by a Kitty
And one who knew she was royal,

She requested an Audience, to a rather Sinister Quacky-Eyed Duck,
And after a long wait, Her Highness showed up,
To the sound of trumpets
Princess Nom Nom Booksitting Bagsleeping Fattycat Swishytail The First
Spoke with poor Sheila, who was rather nervous.

They spoke for a while
The Princess Kitty Cat listened,
They spoke about mice, chickens, bunnys and dinner
Then at last they spoke about the cure,
To help Queen Helen get better,
And then her Highness made a decision, and said rather pleased

“I will come,
No one is smarter than me,
I will solve her sickness,
I can solve everything”

So with her Highness, the Princess Kitty,
And Doctor Polar Long Scarf Bear, From the wonderful Land of Matty,
Sheila Puppy then headed to the great land of Pigglylot,
A place where one can be trapped,
By the taste so fantastical

For you see Pigglylot
Was ruled by Lord PigPigalot!
A Pig who liked eating… more than anyone!
His kingdom was full of an assortment of food
From the furtherest lands,
And the closest to!

Doctor Polar Long Scarf Bear, Princess Nom Nom and Sheila,
arrived at the Kingdom and went straight to its castle!
They were enticed every turn by foods so delicious,
Her Highness the Kitty demanded a taste of everything.

But at last after time, they made their way to the Ruler
They were granted an audience, which started with snorting.
Lord PigPigalot listened, all bout the Sickness,
He knew Queen Helen, for her goats liked eating.

“I have just the Cure!”

Was what was said in excitement!
Lord PigPigalot then handed over…
A bar of delicious chocolate.

“This will fix everything,
It does magical things,
Our supply is huge since the Hopaclypse been”

Sheila Puppy accepted the chocolate with a nod
“I heard this stuff taste better than ice cream” she continued on
The three then left, for their last destination,
Not letting Lord PigPigalot know where they were heading ,
For they didn’t want to cause a fight,
As an ongoing war was being fought between the two places!

Where they were going, had a great history of genius,
It was the much famed Pirate University for Zebras!
Looked after by the talented Dr Captain Lucia,
Not a medical doctor but a scientist of brilliance!

When they reached the ship,
That was driving on land?
They went on board to a rather happy “YArrghhhh”!
Led by pirate Zebras to Dr Captain Lucia,
Who wasn’t very Zebra like… but thats a story for another time.

Sheila Puppy told her about the sickness of Queen Helen,
Dr Captain Lucia Listened
As Sheila Puppy talked
Nodding her head she said

“I know exactly whats wrong”

She called her favorite Pirate Zebra…
Who wasn’t a Zebra at all!

It was a very hairy puppy dog…
Whose name was Muri Licksnoses Sniffalot, The First, Second and Third!,
She was very famous and well known, in lands far, wide and close.
As she held a degree in licking noses, sniffing things and tennis balls.

Muri was ordered to join the band
Which was now a fellowship from the Kingdoms so grand!
With Doctor Polar Long Scarf Bear from the great MattyLand,
And the Princess Kitty from the Kingdom of Bedroom!
A bar of chocolate from Pigglylot,
And now Muri Licksnoses Sniffalot The First, Second and Third from the Pirate University for Zebras

The group then began their journey back.
They borrowed a ship, that drove on land?
When reaching Fort Goat, where Queen Helen was sick
A red Carpet was laid out, on the insistance of a Princess kitty.

Sheila Puppy then began to rush to Queen Helen!
The whole group followed, it was all quite exciting.
When they reached royal bed, Where Queen Helen was resting
They were greeted by Princess Matilda Goat,
Who said rather relieved.

“Your here at last, and you brought smarts!!
Please help her get better,
Shes the Royal organizer of lunch!!!”

The group peered down,
At Queen Helen so sick,
Sheila Puppy looked at them,
Ok lets fix this!

They first gave her chocolate,
From the great  land of Pigglylot
Queen Helen ate it, but it didn’t seem to help.

“That didn’t work”

All said rather shocked,
As Lord PigPigalot had told them it would.

“Step aside”

Said Her Highness the Princess kitty,

“I am Princess Nom Nom Booksitting Bagsleeping Fattycat Swishytail The First
I can solve anything, I am the smartest and best there is.”

And all watched, in anticipation…
As the Princess Kitty stepped close
She peered at Queen Helen,
Looking up and down a lot,

“The cure for her sickness is…”

And everyone went quiet.
Waiting and hoping…

“Licking your tail!”

She exclaimed. And rather proudly.
Everyone just blinked,
As Queen Helen had no tail to lick
So the only cure there was,
Just wouldn’t work.

Muri Licksnoses Sniffalot, The First, Second and Third!,
From the Pirate University for Zebras,
Then stepped forward!
Her degree and genius was showing right away
As she poked out her long tongue huffing and panting!

“I will fix this problem,
I am a Pirate Zebra
I learned all about sickness,
While getting my degree at Pirate University!”

All looked at the hairy puppy
With much hope and excitement,

“That hairy puppy will definitely cure Queen Helen”

They whispered, as she stepped closer!
Looking Queen Helen right in the eyes,
She took a breath,
Then out came her tongue
Icky and wet, covered in slobber!
She licked Queen Helens nose…
Then silence…

“Did it work?”

Asked Princess Matilda Goat
and they all leaned close,
But then Queen Helen sniffled her nose,
And all the onlookers pouted.

Then last of all,
Doctor Polar Long Scarf Bear stepped forward,
With a sigh he said,

“I will try my best like the rest,
but I will make no promises”

He inspected Queen Helen,
He looked her up and down,
Feeling her head,
He concluded it hot…
He thought for a minute,
As he was watched…

“I know whats wrong”

He said,
After a long time in thought….


They all said in reply…
Well all but the Princess Kitty
She knew what was wrong,
Queen Helen had no tail…
She thought it was shocking.

Doctor Polar Long Scarf Bear looked at them all
He cleared his throat
“hur-humm” He went before beginning to talk.

“My Dear friends,
This is a very simple thing…
What we are seeing is a very logical sickness,
Look where we are,
In the beautiful Fort Goat…
Queen Helen has a simple case…
Of Goatamorphia.”


Said those all watching
Tilting there heads,
They were rather confuzzled.

Its a terrible thing
Its what one catches when around goats all year.
It starts with the nose,
It begins to sniffle.
Then you start coughing,
And your head starts burning.

Next thing you grow horns,
And your voice turns to ‘Maaaaaaa’
You start thinking about food,
All day and all night.

Then at last you grow hoofs,
And then a lot of hair,
You start to grow a small tail,
And feel like twirling in a circle!

But I have some good news,
Yes I do…
If Queen Helen rests soundly,
She will be cured.
It can be contagious,
At least if your not a goat…
So I suggest we just be patient,
She will get better by herself!”

There was quite a lot of oh’s and ah’s
As Sheila Puppy, Princess Matilda Goat,
Princess Nom Nom Booksitting Bagsleeping Fattycat Swishytail The First,
And Muri Licksnoses Sniffalot The First Second and Third
listened to the talk, from the Doctor Polar Long Scarf Bear.

They all then quietly left the room,
Leaving Queen Helen to rest,
Princess Mailda Goat looked relieved,
Queen Helen would be okay!

They all headed to the Ship,
Which drove on land?
Princess Matilda Goat and Sheila Puppy,
Said goodbye to their friends.

And then off to the distance,
The ship quietly went,
A Princess Kitty could be seen in the back,
Already sleeping…

“What a long day said Sheila Puppy,
With quite a yawn…
I hope I never get Goatamorphia,
It really sounds horrible”



  1. Helen Said:

    What a great story! I’m so glad she gets better in the end. I am very grateful for all the efforts of all the different royalty and others on my behalf!

  2. Matty Said:

    I am glad you get better to! BIG HUGS!!

  3. Kathy Said:

    I think that was wonderful…I will read it to my grandchildren for sure…absolutely wonder-full!

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