The Sock Before Christmas (I wrote this before Christmas in 2007)

NB: I wrote this in 2007, and I wrote it inside a instant messenger chat box when I was speaking to one of my best friends in the world, Tene. (He lives in the UK, is very geeky and one of my favorite people in the world!) Anyways we were chatting about how if someone evil took over Google they would own the world, and some how that ended up with me writing a story right to Tene!

The editing of this story ended up very messy. But I promised to post a story about an evil sock I wrote, and I keep promises.

The Sock Before Christmas (Yes, Socks own Google)

It started with one sock,
A rebel sock
AN UNPATTERNED DARK EVIL SOCK!!!!

In a draw so dark no light crept,
There lived a sock corrupt in its head,
It sat there in thought about life and the world
And it didn’t take long till evil had hold.

It only took one sock,
For the idea to be born…
That the whole world could be controlled…
By one being alone.

A sock with a vision and a mind of its own…
A sock with a plan that he plotted alone.

He decided one day to awake from the dark,
He saw an old shirt and began to laugh,
He took out the buttons,
He gave himself eyes,
He folded his tip so a mouth could arise,
He then began to move himself upright,
Smiling to himself,
As his plan began to unfold.

With all his might he charged at the draw,
The lonely sock who had turned evil and cold.
Eventually, after a try or two!
It slipped, just a little bit open,
He saw daylight and grinned.

It had been a while since he had seen light
And after waiting a while, he decided it was time!
to sneak out the draw,and begin his plan at last!
And with one mighty jump…
Well the worlds future was over.

When he was out,
Of his tired old draw
He met a ….. man, whose name was Tene of course
he was quiet strange and rather odd…
As you would expect of someone with a name like Tene you know….
He spoke to the sock, hours on end…
Where he learned that Tene was a computer programmer
Tene knew computers so very well,
He knew them better than he knew the back of his hand.

The sock heard and listened,
About this wonderful place…
The internet he whispered,
Thats where I head.

He searched for a while,
He searched up…
And searched down
He searched to the left
And to the right as well
And although he had no luck,
On his search for this net,
He did however find a cat instead…

It didn’t take long to convince this cat
About the evil plans that he truly had
It must be something in a cats nature…
Something dark, that brings out evil laughter…

With this cat, who had been convinced,
He rode, he rode, on a wonderful quest…
In search of a building,
That he heard existed
It was like Mount Olympus… kind of Mythical
Its name however, was far more logical…
It was called… The Googleplex…

When he reached there,
It didn’t take long,
To find some fancy man who wore a suit and tie…
He hung around him, hiding of course…
Listening… and learning… about so much,
So many things… how heads would explode.

He learned about stocks
Sharemarkets to
He learned about scams
and about advertising to
He listened
He plotted,
He learned, and he learned
And soon this bold sock…,
Knew the in’s and outs of the new world.

It was then he waited,
Outside in the cold,
What he was waiting for,
He didn’t really know…
But he waited,
YES HE DID!
He waited and waited
As an evil sock should.

And finally his waiting,
Had all paid off,
As Google said it was to make an announcement.

It was then,
On that very same day
The great Google began its talk,
To the big wide world awake!
It announced that as a company,
It would be so very public!
It shares would be open, for the world to buy up!

They went onto the market and they began to spread,
But the Sock was smart,
It had plotted and planned ahead
and soon without warning,
Unknown to all
Google was his!
He owned it all!!

With this new company,
His empire was set,
He laughed as he rode the smirking cat to the throne,
A corporate office with a large glass door!
“the world is mine”
Said the sock so cold.

A few days past,
Then a few years,
Google blogs, Google groups, Google maps!
There was even an email service!
And satellite images!
With this new found power the socks plans were complete,
He then convinced other evil socks to join his team…

From there of course,
It didn’t take long…
Every CEO, Every president, every owner of every company in the world,
One by one, the socks moved in,
And slowly our world now belongs to them!

What happens now,
Is anyones guess,
I think they are waiting…
But for what… is still a mystery.

We could have saved ourselves so much time and pain…
Who knows what may happen in the coming days,
All we had to do was show love in a kind way…
But you know, its not entirely to late…
To learn from past mistakes

To save the world…
Don’t buy black!
Wash your socks everyday,
Keep them far away from shirts…
And also quite possibly cats!

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