Truly Blessed

NB: To those who don’t know me so well, I use to be very sad (As seen in earlier poems). I use to wonder if dying was the best option for me… Especially after Madison died. At times I would try to carry that out, and a few times I came close. One of my worst fears is dying and having no one care or notice for a long time. This fear haunts me in my dreams a lot still. Though these last days, mostly this year… I am for the first time happy to be alive. I am not so alone, not afraid, not cold or hungry. I won’t say I feel safe as I am not sure I will ever feel safe… but I can say that I do feel truly blessed.

Truly Blessed

In the darkness of the night
I sit awake by the light
I dwell upon thoughts so deep,
About how my life changed in a blink…

In years past I lived afraid
I dreamed about my dying days
Afraid that if I were to pass…
I would go unnoticed for days and weeks.

And here I am just a few years on,
Happy to be alive and more…
With friends around me who are there for support
And who accept me without second thought…

I suppose I could ponder this for years…
How I got so lucky and blessed…
But something inside me tells me to stop,
And not to question this gift
I love so much.

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