Lost

NB: I was talking with someone from the organization, CCS Disability Action, about what autism is like, my troubles with sequencing. I thought about it a lot, I decided that I will write this. Sequencing is the ability to put things into the right order, something simple like getting dressed for me can become a nightmare, taking hours. Especially if you do something then have to correct it. But explaining the feelings of that, to someone who has never experienced it is so hard. So this was the best explanation I could come up with. Like when someone is going somewhere but can’t remember where to go, but knows exactly the place they are looking to get to.

Its like I’m going somewhere
I know where I should I go
I remember the letter box,
The cobble path, the white door.
I remember the trees,
How the wind blows,
I remember the flowers
All the smells they give off
Yet as I try to get there
Is it left or is it right?
Do I turn at this corner?
I begin to cry.
I start to go in circles,
Confused and so afraid…
Shouting in frustration
That I cannot find my way.
This is how I live my life,
Every single day…
Knowing where to go
But lost in every way.

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