Archive for September, 2009

For Dag :(

A close friend to someone I love very much, and a friend of mine also, passed away to suicide, I wish there was something I could have done. He had a lot of support from friends… there was nothing we could do to make him stop seeing only the dark. I hope the world that awaits him is free from the demons that confined him.

To Dag:

May you at last, finally rest
At peace from the demons of your world
Free from the chains of sorrow
In eternal bliss’ hold.


Pay attention to the world!

Here I sit before the window
Watching the world pass by
So much is changing everyday
If only we took the time
Every moment the clouds are different
A second passes the sun has moved
So take a berath and remember to listen
For time can only move forward

Don’t give up on me yet

When it was cold I found a home
As chills slowly consumed my soul
And as that home became my world
I began to get lost in a confused void
But in that void friends emerged
The most unlikely people imaginable…
They pulled me out to the sunshine bright
Gave me hope to enjoy life.
Thank you those of whom I owe
So much I cannot give you all
Please forgive me for my problems
Forgive the burdens placed upon you

Please bare with me throughout my troubles
Don’t abandon me yet
I Promise to breathe a while longer
With all my heart I won’t give up yet.

We will find our way

The sun shines bright
The clouds have parted
Moved on with the wind
Washed away with the rain
We have weathered the storm
The world smells fresh
Dreams, Hope, Love
No longer a myth
The future’s uncertain
But not dark and bleak
Alone I’m afraid
But with you I’m safe
Lets face it together
and find our way.

Remember, Remember.

Remember to breath to smell and see
For this world can really speed
Unless you take the time it needs
You will miss the treasures held deep

Friends: Perfect In Every Way

Upon a time when it was dark
A beautiful light came shining bright
An angel walked so ever slow
As she approached, her smile showed
It warmed my soul, my body, my heart
And as it did the monsters took part

Life began to slowly return
Flowers opened up to bloom
The shadows crept further away
As each step she took my way

My heart thumped, so ever fast
Who could this angel possibly be?
And it wasn’t till I heard her voice
That then it was I knew
I knew that it was you!

How wonderful a life I lead
With your hand guiding me
Thank you for saving me each day
From the darkness that creeps my way
Alone I stand no chance
But with a friend I’m safe!

I would have nothing changed
Your perfect in every way

Found this on my computer – My Essay on how I feel, bullying from High School

NB: I wrote this in high school and I can’t remember how old i was, I think 17. Somehow its floated down my computers. So I thought I would put it here. (Edit: It was written 7/6/2006)

All I wanted to do at the time I wrote this was be heard… for someone to help. No one ever did at school. I was sexually assaulted at school and forced to goto class with that person.

I was bullied by the teachers… this teacher of my english class at this time especially and other students.

In high school I was not allowed to write. So… every chance I got I liked it. I believe the task may have been to write about your safe place, and to me one of those throughout high school was the train home.  The english teacher failed me on this and said it was to dramatic or over the top? Something like that I remember how upset I was. Maybe thats why I saved it.

Please do post your thoughts on this as it would mean much to me.

Everyone’s own safe Haven

I sit on the train as the rain pours. I watch as people go through the doors, each stop slowly comes and goes and it is as if time is slow. Others from my school are scattered about the carriage. A normal day like always. Of course it wasn’t long for me to face the tormentors, the creatures dehumanised to every last bone, the creatures from my school. They pass comments judge and are cruel. To escape THEM is like entering heaven, an event of joy with eternal sorrow.

… continue reading this entry.

To the Talanted Tailor

To thee talanted Tailor
Who is skilled with the thread
All the garments  made
Are the best I ever seen!
Sewn to perfection
Created with a vision
Never stop tailoring
For its a gift and a blessing!

Strange dream

Before me were my friends
Laura, Helen, Etoile, Kathy…
Col and countless others
Wonderful Angels with grace and light
Beautiful and Inspiring
they handed to me ‘The cure’
A magical potion to set me free
To cure me…
I didn’t question once
Taking without a thought.
Yet after I didn’t felt different
They smiled at me and I realized…
There is no cure for my pains
For all the sorrow that weighs
After-all my cures right before me
All the care and love I need
With them I can face anything
Nothing scares me.

Angel so high

NB: Lately madison has been on my mind a lot, soon will be the aniversary that she passed, she passed on the 8th September 12:03am 2006. Or around that. For a long time I use to be able to keep the minutes and hours, months and years since she passed but now it feels so long ago… though at the same time… it feels so close. This poem extends one line at a time as a way of me saying time has passed, it is four verses as I am about to begin the 4th year without her in my life. Sleep well in slumber, Madison.

In the Sky
Angel so high
Watch over me
Guide my life
Bring me judgement
Safety and love
Leave me uncorrupt

A sinful world
Surrounds my soul
On you dependant
I am so
You maybe passed
But not far
Tightly to you
I cling still.

This worlds cold
Save me please
Fates hand closes
But theres hope
Your eyes watch
Keep me alive
Don’t change gaze
Theres nothing left
Just your love

I won’t join
Not right now
But wait please
Time will pass…
One day soon
I will come
Do keep watching
Angel so high
Forever with love
I bid goodnight.

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